I Refuse

For those of you that know my daughter you will know what I mean when I say that she amazes me on a daily basis. She has such a passion for life that is not seen in kids her age. I find that I have to remind myself that she's only two and a half. And holy shit is she cute! It is still strange to think that I helped create something so beautiful. But, as those of you who have children know, that sweet little angel that is my daughter can be a HOLY TERROR! People joke about babies not coming with instruction manuals, and though one of the benefits of having a kid is learning "the hard way" to be a parent (personal growth through new and challenging experiences) A FREAKING MANUAL WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED SOMETIMES!! Nicole can get me so flustered. Its as if she has a daily checklist that includes: destroying her room, forcing me to touch poop, rupturing my eardrums, and ignoring every word that comes out of my mouth (this list is not all inclusive mind you). Parenting can be tough, and knowing how to react to your child in certain situations can be very tough. Especially when the situation calls for some kind of discipline.
Now when I was a kid, a good-ol spanking was all that was needed for behavior correction. And many times not even that was required (my father was very intimidating to me as a child). Physical punishment was ok. It was normal. It was normal for everyone I knew and it was normal for my parents when they were kids. I didn't grow up scarred from it, and I feel that my parents were justified in doing what they felt was right (remember: babies don't come with instruction manuals). Doing what you feel is right and learning from your decisions is all that us primates can do to make any sense of this world. And what you're taught and exposed to while growing up is what most of your choices in life will be based upon. It is natural to raise your children the way your parents raised you.
But, I refuse.
When I look at my daughter I see everything that is good about life. I see beauty and happiness and wonder. I see innocence and love and I see my reason for living. I see a tiny, 30pound little girl who depends on me for her very existence. I see a defenseless child who has nothing but love for me in her little baby heart.
How could I (as a rational, adult, human being that is ten times the size of my daughter) ever be so out of my mind to consider doing something as horrific as HITTING MY DAUGHTER?! I would have to be insane to be tempted by such a disgusting act of pure evil.
Having a child of my own has shown me that there is absolutely no justification for physically assaulting a child. I will not support this behavior as appropriate parenting, and it will never be a part of my daughters life. I will not "spank" my children.
I refuse.